The Secret

Often, and especially in my recent travels, I am asked the question "What is your secret?” People want to know what secret program I run, or what magical dvar Torah I give, or what the trick is to "making people religious". And people tell me they think they have the answers - have a big Shabbat meal for 5,000 people or have some huge mega-event, or have them listen to this one rabbi – and that will do the trick...

In what would have been this week's haftorah, we have the second of Eliyahu Hanavi (Elijah the prophet)'s two legendary episodes. His first, and most famous, is of the happening at Har Carmel, where in the showdown with Achav and his false prophets of ba'al, Eliyahu emerges miraculously victorious. In what has become a rallying cry ever since, and the pinnacle of our prayers on Yom Kippur, the previously borderline people of Israel respond to his display of God's all-might with the fearful and awesome scream of "ה' הוא האלוקים, ה' הוא האלוקים" "God is the Almighty (2x)". As our would-be haftorah picks up the story, we are greeted with an unexpected turn of events - Eliyahu fins out that Achav and Izavel are still out to kill him and he runs away. Runs away?! Didn't he just achieve the magnificent and tide-turning victory over his enemies and win the hearts of the people? C'mon, only cowards people like Yonah run away, not public heroes like Eliyahu! Well, away he runs, into the deserted deserts of the Negev, where he retreats into himself. He then attempt to commit suicide, collapsing repeatedly and finally is brought by an angel to Har Horev, a.k.a. Har Sinai. There, like Moshe, he goes for 40 days and nights, camps out in a cave and speaks with God. The rabbis pick up on these similarities, but point out one big difference; while with Moshe, God said "עמוד פה עמדי", "stay here with Me", God accusatorily asks Eliyahu "מה לך פה אליהו?", "What are you doing here?". In justifying himself, Eliyahu starts explaining what happened, saying that he responded with zealousness since the people have abandoned God and wish to kill him. In reply, God showcases a series of meteorological events before Eliyahu. First, a great, earth-shattering wind blows by, but God was not there. Then came a thunderous earthquake, and then a blazing fire, but God was not in either of them. Then came forth a small, silent voice, which Eliyahu hears and from which God speaks to him. After going though the same questions and answers as previously, God tells him that his job as leader is over, save for appointing successors for himself and the other leaders of Israel.

What? What's happening here? At what does this have to do with what I started with?

The Malbim, in analyzing God's questioning of Eliyahu, explains a prophet's role as being with the people, advising them, guiding them, loving them, and leading them. Hence God's bewilderment and chastisement at Eliyahu's detached disappearance into the desert, instead of staying and dealing with the people of Israel. (In comparison, Moshe stayed at Har Sinai to selflessly fight for Israel’s continuity, even offering up his life for a people who would constantly disappoint him.) Eliyahu's response is that his zealousness and frustration at the people's lack of change have made him unfit for the job; he did God’s grand miracles for them, proved God’s existence at Har Carmel in front of the masses, and got all of the attendees to acknowledge God’s Divinity, only to have them turn a blind eye the next day. The Malbim then connects this to God's meteorological demonstration, explaining that God is showing Eliyahu that He is not necessarily found in big shows, or in over-the-top demonstrations - like Eliyahu carried out at Har Carmel. Even with all the lighting, miraculous rain, thunderous cries of belief, and Eliyahu's zealous fights, it was a failure, and Eliyahu ran away defeated. Defeated? But didn't it work? Didn't the people all say they believed in God? God's message was that there is another way - not of force and strength, but of the small, silent things. That is how God wants his leaders to lead His people to Him - with cords of love and soft words of understanding, and with the subtle sounds of silence. Thus, Eliyahu failed - for while the people said what they had to out of fear, the all-powerful and overbearing Truth failed to cause a lasting and deep-seated change in the hearts and souls of the people. Hence the continued persecution of Eliyahu, even after the mega event, and Eliyahu’s consequential frustration and self-imposed isolation. While God first yelled at him for being absent from his post, Eliyahu’s incompatibility with this role leads God to yell at him again and remove him from his post. Eliyahu is then replaced by Elisha, who we first see contrastingly following 12 oxen (hinting to the 12 tribes) and feeding the masses around him (the ideological forerunner of a rebbe’s shirayim).

Fittingly, Eliyahu’s punishment is that he never dies; he is forced to wander the earth for all of time, amongst the people he failed to love and understand. He is thus a visitor at every Jewish brit milah, testifying that God’s people are keeping His covenant, attending every family Seder, bearing witness that the people of Israel are still on their long and winding path back to their Father in heaven, and visiting every motzei Shabbat, celebrating with and recording the merits of the children of Israel. In the end, Eliyahu’s final emancipation will be to finish the long and arduous progression of redemption, returning the hearts of parents to their children and the children’s hearts to their parents. This is not an instant mega-solution, but a slow, multigenerational, heart-to-heart process; only through those ordinary, silent, and genuine understandings will the Final Redemption come and reunite the people of Israel amongst themselves and with God.

So what’s my secret? I don’t really have one; just be a nice, friendly, and warm person. Connect people to each other, to God, and to the world of Judaism around them - and everyone in their own, personal, small ways. It is important to recognize and remember that each person is different and the path to each person’s heart is unique. For all the “things” that I do, it’s really all about the spontaneous, genuine, heart to heart conversations that I have with people, the silent smiles or the welcoming gestures. Even as this has grown in leaps and bounds, I still hold by that assertion, and I am beginning to understand why the movement is called “Heart to Heart”. May we live and work to see the fulfillment of "והשיב לב אבות (לב אבות) על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם"

p.s. I know I am offering solutions here, but I wouldn’t call them “tricks to making people religious”, merely open reminders for normal life.
p.p.s. Most of this came from Rav Elon's insights, which can be found here

The prelude to the introduction to the redemption of last year's kiddush story

This past Friday night something truly beautiful and magnificent happened to me and two friends. But in order to truly understand the beauty and magnificence of this story, you'd have to know what happened that fateful Shabbat in Tel Aviv, tibane v'tikonen, as well as in the Quad that festive Friday night last year. So I'll start with the Tel Aviv story, which is what inspired much of what happened since then.

In between high school and college, I studied abroad in Israel for the year, in Yeshivat haKotel. The head of the Yeshiva was Rav Mordechai (Motti) Elon, and while he was the head of the Yeshiva, he also happened to be the religious head of, ya know, most of Israel. Anyway, so he instituted that every year on Parshat Zachor, the week before Purim, the Yeshiva as a whole would go to Tel Aviv for a Shabbaton. So, on one fine Friday afternoon, around 250 people trekked up to Tel Aviv, including the Israelis, kollel families, rebbeim, chutznikim and Rav Elon and his famly. We all stayed at different locations (we 'yeshiva bochrim' stayed on the floor in some empty school), and on our way to our meeting point, we danced together through the streets of Tel Aviv. After meeting up and dancing in kikar Rabin, we split off into different groups and went to daven kabbalat Shabbat with and liven up various little batei kinesset in the area. Then we all had dinner together in some shul.

And then it began.

Following dinner, they split us into groups of four people, gave us a bottle or two of wine and sent us off. Three Israeli friends of mine and myself started walking down the streets. We wandered into different apartment buildings and knocked on some random doors. To be fair, only around two-thirds of the time did people answer, but when they did answer, almost all of them went well. None of them were 'dati' per se but they all were so pleased to be making kiddush with us and some even joined in. Oh right, that's what we were doing - making kiddush. But that's the beauty of it, we were just meeting people, over a delicious cup of Israeli wine and some words of sanctification. And when we would knock on the doors, we said simply that we were some guys coming by to say Shabbat Shalom, to spend some time and to share kiddush with them. And so it wasn't about getting them to do a mitzvah, or getting them to say a certain formula; while that was the means for the encounter, the point was that heart to heart encounter in and of itself.

And people loved it - they appreciated it, they would stand respectfully when we made kiddush and they were more than happy to engage in conversation with us. Some of them were single twenty-somethings, some were elderly ladies and one consisted of a large family gathering, but they were all Jewish and they were all overjoyed by this display of care. We were welcomed into one young couple's apartment where they were watching T.V. over dinner and so when we got to asking them if they wanted us to make kiddush for them, they asked whether they should turn off their T.V. In a beautiful flow of events, we said that it didn't really matter, and we said kiddush together over the hum of the T.V. - it was perhaps one of the most special kiddushim that I ever made. And that family gathering- oh man! It turns out one of the patriarch's son's and his wife had won some 'The Real Life'-esqu show, and the Israeli's I was with new that they were famous, and the family couldn't get over the fact that I was from NYC. We ended up talking to them for around half-an-hour, drinking a little (water) and we just chilled. Finally, after a few hours walking and talking around, when we finished the wine and/or the cups (we helped out a bit on our own ;-), we made out way back to some shul for the tail-end of a Rav Elon tisch.

In retrospect, that was perhaps one of the greatest Shabbatot of my life - getting to share the beauty, peace, and friendliness of Shabbat and Judaism with Jews in Tel Aviv who thought true Judaism was only for Chareidim who hated them. And here we were, dati yeshiva students, going out of our way to meet these simple, but yet so holy Jews, in a meeting of minds, faces, and hearts. And that's what was so powerful about it, the simple but yet deep encounter that occurred, brought about by the sanctity of Shabbat, and powerfully impacting on all parties involved. For them - they said it was amazing to see people like us doing this and they truly appreciated it, and for me - to see the way they responded to this presentation of Judaism and how much they respected, honored and loved the Shabbat and its messengers. It was from that Shabbat onwards, that I began to dream of living in Tel Aviv (anyone wanna join me?) and being able to share with people those feelings of achdut (brothergood), mutual respect, and a love for Judaism.

It also inspired me enough to try some of these methods out on my own... For more on that, stay tuned for the next installment of the series - last year's story (a.k.a. the introduction to the redemption of last year's kiddush story)